Nobility Simulator

Welcome to the golden age of Polish Nobility!

In Nobility Simulator, you become a proud, lazy, and blissfully unaware Polish nobleman — a man of honor, strong character, and highly questionable hygiene.
Manage your manor, boss your peasants around, sip mead, and occasionally defend your estate from the Swedes… assuming you’re not too hungover.

🟫 Remember – a true nobleman never gets his hands dirty.
That’s what peasants are for. Well… unless they’ve already run off.

👑 Live large. Live noble.
Build, command, and celebrate like a proper Sarmatian. The mead won’t drink itself.

🧹 Servants aren’t your friends.
Peasants are your all-purpose workforce. If words fail, the whip speaks volumes.

⚔️ Make a name for yourself in battle!
Peace never lasts. When enemies come knocking, grab your saber and make them regret it.

What’s expected of a proper noble:

• 🍯 Brew vast amounts of mead. No such thing as too much.
• 🧑‍🌾 Take care of your peasants and keep them somewhat healthy. As the old saying goes: "Dead peasants don’t plow well."
• 🪓 Expand your estate – place buildings with strategy… or just slap them down wherever. It’s all falling apart soon anyway.
• 👏 Don’t let your subjects slack off – hire overseers and listen to the sweet crack of their whips echo across the fields.
• 🛡️ Fend off enemy invasions – preferably from a safe distance… by using your peasants as meat shields.

Nobility Simulator blends economic management, light combat, and an avalanche of absurd humor to deliver as much glorious chaos as a 17th-century Polish parliament